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Saturday, March 22, 2014

the kiss of death


Sometimes I think to myself how lucky I am to be living on my own. I have the freedom to do whatever weird thing I want to do. I have my own apartment that I can decorate to my heart's content. I can eat what I want, wear what I want. Sometimes, if the mood strikes, I interpretive dance naked in the kitchen...Whatever suits my fancy. It's a judge-free zone. The thing is, you kind of need a job to keep those freedoms. Last month, I quit my job. Was it the smartest thing to do without having another job lined up? Eh, probably not. But I couldn't stand it for another second. It was literally sucking the small amount of happiness I had left in my body, like a dementor in the Harry Potter series. Just before that pesky dementor performed his final kiss of death, I waved my metaphorical wand, performed the necessary spell and got the heck outta there. As I made my final steps out of that evil, soul-sucking, corporate-owned building that had me in chains for the past year and a half, I felt something. I was invincible! For the moment, at least. This past month has been an interesting mix of ups and downs. The ups consisted of getting to do whatever I want, when I want. I explored the SLC area. Every day was an exciting, grand adventure. I slept til noon. I went out with friends til all hours of the night without feeling that pang in your gut when you realize you have work the next morning. As my bank account started to empty at a rapid rate, however, that familiar pang came back to the pit of my stomach. Coming to the sad realization that vacations don't last forever, I started my job search. After I went from interview to interview, receiving job offers from more evil, soul-sucking places, I decided that I was not going to settle for anything less than extraordinary. Unfortunately, I have yet to find that extraordinary calling in life, but for now, I am getting certified to be a Nursing Assistant. I am officially certified next week, so we shall see! Maybe this will be the start to a path I want to venture onto, maybe not. One thing I have learned from this little experience is to not be afraid of making a change and taking risks, which coincidentally "change" and "risk" are the two words I fear the most.